Tips for New College Students – Final Round

Today, I’m going to share the last of my college/freshman-related advice. If you still haven’t seen them, here they are: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. These are ones that I came up with days after developing a preliminary list, so I wasn’t able to insert them into the appropriately themed posts. (Even so, don’t think that these are “leftovers” or unimportant!) Some are more detailed or developed renditions of past tips. For that reason, the contents below are going to seem to jump all over the place. Forgive me.

In fact, forgive me again, because this is going to be oppressively LONG. I could have broken this down into two more posts, but I feel like I should bring this series to a conclusion by now. I mean, most college-bound students are probably moving in or just about to leave. And I NEVER imagined that these posts would get into the double digits. (In fact, I refuse to name this “Round 10.”)

Once that’s all done, I’ll do my best to leave some finishing remarks and bring this project to a close. But let’s get started with our random onslaught of recommendations first.

• 

  These days are over. (Figuratively and especially literally.)

  Don’t expect to be coddled. Oh, the joys of high school. You’d walk into each class and see the all the upcoming topics and homework assignments neatly written on a board on the side of the room. Your teacher would repeatedly tell you about that homework that is due on October 12. Each day, a neat parcel of reading would be assigned. If you forgot to turn in something, your teacher might remind you and give you a mild (figurative) slap on the wrist, asking you to be more mindful. In college, those days are basically over. If you don’t stay on top of your own work and schedule yourself based on the single syllabus handed to you at the beginning of the semester, it is your own funeral. If you’re in classes with hundreds of anonymous faces, few if any homework assignments, and no real way of gauging your progress besides through a midterm and final, you might feel like there isn’t any source of accountability. But that’s because the onus of accountability has markedly shifted from the teacher to you. If you don’t stay on top of your own stuff, your teacher is not going to remind or rescue you. Learn to take charge of your own education or it’s going to be one discouragingly painful ride.

• Don’t use sticky notes as a form of communication. Post-Its might be a useful tool on your desktop or wedged in pages of textbooks, but they are also one of the worst ways to start dialogues or resolve problems with your roommates. Any pseudo-conversation that begins with a sticky note will end up becoming really sticky in a brief period of time. If your roommate hasn’t washed their dishes in a while, directly ask them if they can clear out the sink sometime soon. Don’t fall into passive-aggressive mode and leave a sticky note over the sink saying, “Someone forget to clean the dishes?” or “Wash this NOW” or even “I’d really appreciate it if you could clean your stuff soon.” Whether or not you sound nice in your written note, it will either be taken as being snarky, patronizing, or unwelcoming. (Check out PassiveAggressiveNotes.com to see some fine examples of this potentially funny but very unwise method of communication.) The least you can do for your roommate is to directly speak to them.

Funny to see, not as funny to experience firsthand.

• Be candid with your roommate(s). This is heavily tied to one of my first tips about filling out a roommate agreement, but I think it deserves fleshing out. One of the worst mistakes I made my freshman year was to let my roommate tread all over me. He constantly brought his girlfriend over to our room, which I didn’t mind at first, but then began to incrementally allow her to stay longer and longer and eventually leading to things that I won’t describe (at least in this post, though it makes for a fantastic story). As I watched the situation escalate, I kept telling myself not to be such a square and to give my roommate and his girlfriend the benefit of the doubt. I never expressed any of my concern or irritation with the worsening situation until March, when I totally lost it and released all my pent-up frustration in one fell swoop. Even though I still feel like I was right to be upset at what happened (really, I should write about this incident sometime), the way I addressed the situation could not have been more wrong. Please trust me when I say that you should tackle roommate (or any social) problems head on instead of letting things fester and rise to a boil. I don’t mean that you should be whiny or abrasive, but solve the problem when it’s awkward and not explosive.
• Stay home if you’re really sick. You probably hate it when someone who is sneezing or incessantly wiping away snot from their nose sits next to you for any length of time, much less for 45-90 minutes. Even if they’re not directly adjacent to you, you can’t help but walk out of class feeling infected or icky. If that’s how other sick people make you feel, trust me when I say that everyone else would feel the same way if you showed up in poor condition, too. College is already a cesspool of germs and lots of close contact between people without anyone’s help, and when a flu or cold season comes by, you will know it all too well, because huge chunks of students will all get sick at once. If you’re one of them, preserve the health of others by staying out of class. However, there’s one thing to be mildly sick and another to be really under the weather, so don’t abuse your health as an excuse to stay out of class. And no matter what, do your best to get a doctor’s note and/or notify your professor of your absence so that your grade doesn’t needlessly suffer. Find out where your student health center is and schedule an appointment, instead.
• 

  'Nuff said.

  Wash your hands. I am constantly reminded that people don’t always exercise good hygiene. I guess it surprises me because it seems so simple yet goes ignored far too often. Piggybacking on the previous tip, I implore you to wash your hands. Having nasty and unsanitary hands is an incredibly effective way to make illnesses spread, and trust me when I say that no school needs your proactive contribution to that cause. Wash your hands (WITH SOAP) and even consider getting some hand sanitizer, especially during flu seasons.

• Take pictures. You might think that memories last forever, but give those same memories a few years and see how much is really left over. If I could go back to the beginning of my college career and change something, this would be one of the prime candidates. I did a lot of really cool things during my four years in college, but I only have documented and lasting proof for a handful of those things. And most of those are because other people were smart enough to take pictures and generous enough to either send them to me or post them online. You’ll be surprised by how quickly nostalgia can hit you when it comes to college, so satisfy your future self by actively taking snapshots. Even the mediocre shots will trigger great memories.
• Watch your bank/loan company like a hawk. Chances are high that at least some fraction of your college education will be buoyed by student loans. These student loans are probably for at least a few thousand dollars, if not way more, and it would be a huge mistake to treat the bank or company (like Sallie Mae) that’s making the loan as if it’s working on your behalf. These are all businesses that are eager to scrounge up any money they can; they will joyously charge you a fee if they receive one of your payments late, even if you sent it to them on time. They will go to great lengths to have you studiously pay off your loans over as long a period of time as possible—not necessary because it’s the most financially responsible thing for you to do (though it might be), but because their real profits come from charging you lots of interest. Either you or your parents should be vigilant in checking your monthly statements and making sure that everything is going as planned. The moment something doesn’t seem right, call the bank or loan company and fix the situation as soon as possible. And, if you can, try to save up more money and pay off your loans as quickly as you can without financially jeopardizing yourself. If you can do that, you will save untold amounts of money by not paying more interest. Stick it to the man!

Pretend it's Gordon Gekko that's handling your loans.

• Call your parents. I am ashamed to say that I did a very subpar job with this as a college student. I don’t mean to be hypocritical—I always knew that this was the right thing to do, but I wasn’t always good enough to follow through with it. College often feels like the first real breath of freedom from the strictures of home, and the prospect of calling your parents feels like you’re voluntarily throwing them a leash with your neck threaded through it. I get that, and I still admittedly feel that way these days, too. But with time, I’m slowly realizing how concerned any parent might feel about their child being in the wild and how empty they might feel from your absence around the house. Be nice enough to call them occasionally—even the briefest of conversations can go huge distances in filling those voids. Or if you know that you won’t be disciplined enough to do that, at least answer calls that your parents make. I’m sure that I’ll only get to understand this better as I grow up and especially if/when I have kids of my own. Face it—we’ll always be children to our parents. Embrace it and let Mom and/or Dad know that you haven’t totally fled the nest. In fact, you might occasionally feel like heading back to the nest, which leads to the next tip…
• 

  A sick home. Sick of seeing you come back home so often. (From alexeivella.com)

  Learn to deal with homesickness in a positive way. I sincerely doubt that you’re going to sit around with college friends and shed tears or become wistful thinking about everything you left back at home. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that you or those around you get homesick every once in a while. It’s one of those things that lots of people will experience privately but never discuss publicly, which only makes you feel more isolated than you really are. Remember that it’s perfectly natural. For most people, it will hit hardest during the first few weeks when things feel most unstable. The important part is how you deal with it. The optimal goal would be to overcome your homesickness and learn to enjoy your new environment. That’ll happen much more easily if you get involved in your classes, social life, and extracurricular activities. People who become hermits and sulk become their own worst enemies. Call or e-mail folks back at home for a pick-me-up. However (and this might be slightly controversial), I would not recommend going home really soon (like during the first month) or really often. That will be counterproductive and you won’t give yourself a fair opportunity to get acquainted and ultimately embrace where you are now.

• Keep your door open. If your RA institutes an open-door policy, give them an imaginary pat on the back. They are doing a very good thing. The first week or two of living in a dorm can be intimidating for many reasons, but not knowing all the people on your floor is definitely a contributing factor. You feel weird randomly introducing yourself and visiting people that are strangers to you. A shrewd RA will have a policy where they ask all the residents to keep their doors either ajar or open with a trash bin or doorstop when in the room. That way, people can easily meander and get to know one another without feeling like they look overly eager. Even the opportunity to wave at someone new through an open door does wonders to making the floor feel like a community. If your RA doesn’t have this policy, don’t be afraid to just keep your own door slightly open and see if people take the bait. If you’re especially courageous, you can even try suggesting it to your RA!
• 

  Don't think that it can't happen to you.

  Never leave a drink (especially an alcoholic one) unattended. With all the amazing people you’ll meet in college, there’s also bound to be a small cadre of really twisted individuals with unconscionable intentions. Not to sound like a pessimist or alarmist, but I want to be honest in saying that sexual assault and rape date can and do occur on college campuses around the country. It may not be frequent by any means, but even one incident is one too many. This was partially behind my previous advice to not travel around campus alone at night and is wholeheartedly behind this piece of advice. If you’re at any social gathering with multiple people, there’s a remote chance that a predator might be present and looking for a victim, and a relatively easy way to nab someone is to put something in a person’s drink and wait for them to succumb. It’s almost impossible for anyone to do this to you if you keep your drink in your hands and in general view at all times. Again, I don’t mean to cause panic. The chances of this happening to you are infinitesimal. That being said, the price you pay if it does happen is immeasurable. You need to be responsible for your own physical and emotional well-being. This is one vital place to start.

• Don’t let a high school boyfriend/girlfriend hinder your new social life. There’s often fierce debate about whether you should or shouldn’t break up with a significant other that you have in high school. I personally don’t have any particular experience with this matter, and I don’t really have a solid opinion either way. I’ve seen high school relationships both thrive and implode with people in college, so I know that it’s definitely possible. However, I do want to warn such couples from getting tethered to the phone or computer at the expense of making new friends at college. During the first few weeks of freshman year, many students cling for dear life to their long-distance relationships because it’s the only thing they are comfortable with. Those people often miss out on a huge part of the socializing and relationship building with their new classmates and floormates and then wonder why they don’t feel like they’re fitting in. It undeniably takes hard work to maintain a long-distance relationship, and that makes total sense, but don’t let the security of it prevent you from meeting and connecting with new people.
• Don’t just hang around high school pals. This is somewhat similar to the last tip. If you’re headed to a local college or a popular university for students at your high school, it will be far too easy to just stick with the people you know. It will feel comfortable, but you will ultimately undermine your own social life by not sticking your head out there. I want to be clear about this: I’m not saying to ditch your high school friends. Not at all! Keep fostering those relationships! But I’ve seen too many people get a piecemeal college experience because they hardly met anyone new and therefore encountered no new cultures, ideas, interests, or personalities. It all speaks to perhaps one overarching theme of this entire series…
• Challenge yourself. Let’s be honest here: Adjusting to college in and of itself is a challenge. Sometimes it feels like you’re barely treading water socially, academically, personally, or whatever-ly. I went through all that and would never underestimate how tough the transition can be for anyone else. Despite all of that, there are undoubtedly ways to either challenge yourself or to coast. I’ve touched on them through many of the tips over these last few posts. Stepping out of your new room to make new friends is challenging yourself. Going to orientation events when you feel totally out of place is challenging yourself. Taking courses that excite you even if they intimidate you is challenging yourself. Growing a backbone and standing up for yourself in front of a difficult roommate, interacting with a professor during office hours, learning to be responsible for your own work, being proactive about preserving your health in the face of sudden freedom and countless new choices—those are all manifestations of ways in which you confront your old habits or unfamiliar territory head-on. The real growth in college doesn’t necessarily come from textbooks (though learning a new way to take notes in your texts is also a challenge)—it comes from expanding your comfort zone. Once your comfort zone grows, it most likely won’t shrink back to its former size. It will stay right where it is, ready to swell even more. Help make that happen.

One of many illustrations you can find online of extending your comfort zone. Having an aim is nice but not always necessary. Just keep growing.

• Soak it all in. Four years sounds like a lot, but it’ll be the fastest four years you’ll have experienced to date. Absorb all the memories you can, whether they’re amazing, good, mediocre, bad, or abysmal—they’ll all have played a part in transforming you from the doe-eyed incoming freshman that you are now to the more mature senior that you will become. Enjoy it all for what it’s worth, because it will truly be over before you know it.

I ultimately feel like this series of blog entries has been my own way of encapsulating my own memories before they grow stale or misshapen by my very imperfect mind. It’s been a huge pleasure to relive a few good years and even better to know that it’s been helpful to some people.

One final thing I’ll say here. During my own orientation week before freshman year began, I went to all sorts of activities and panels where you could ask current students and administrators specific questions about how they got to where they were. How did they succeed? What did they do to find a niche for themselves? What secrets were behind the transformation from high school graduate to college student? Ultimately, what was the one biggest piece of advice you would give a freshman? The answer I heard was almost universal, as if everyone had been ordered to respond the same way:

“College is what you make of it.”

At that point, I found that answer extremely unsatisfying and thought that everyone was being condescending to the incoming freshmen. However, I found myself saying the same thing to my residents when I was an RA three years later. It’s actually the most satisfying answer and best piece of advice I think anyone could give. Despite all the advice and tips listed above, the essence of college is that it’s a new start with incredible opportunities and avenues to tap your potential—but perhaps for the first time, you have to be proactive to uncover all the amazing experiences and growth. You have to heavily rely on yourself to shape your own being, personality, skills, and identity. A student attending a local college but wholly investing and challenging themselves for four years has made much more of themselves than a student who merely coasts on the reputation of their prestigious school. That’s the real challenge and fun of this new transition in your life. It’s a personal adventure to see how much of your own potential you can unlock.

And what an adventure that was for me. In just a couple weeks, I move on to graduate school and a PhD program, and a new journey begins. I can only guess what new advice I’ll come up with on the other side. In any case, as many of us step into a different stage of life, I want to say…

GOOD LUCK!

That being said, this doesn’t have to be the official end if you don’t want it to be. I am still genuinely interested to hear any more feedback that any of you have, whether it’s further additions to the lessons or questions you’d like to ask about things that you don’t think were covered as much as you’d hoped. I’d love to do what I can to help out!

Tips for New College Students – Round 9

So, I don’t mean to sound like I’m bragging, but my last series of college tips (which you can see here along with links to all the previous advice-laden posts) was Freshly Pressed, meaning it was featured on the WordPress home page. That brought me a massive torrent of visitors, many of which left fantastic comments or support. It was a surreal day during which my phone notified me of new comments and “Like”s almost incessantly from the moment I woke up. (Actually, I already had 20 messages in my inbox when I opened my bleary eyes this morning.)

I never understood how posts made it here. Now I'm even more confused.

First of all, thanks for all the support! Secondly, it seemed like quite a few visitors had their own advice for incoming college students. I was so happy to see those, because that’s what I’ve been wanting to hear over these last few posts. I was originally planning to just add on a few more random suggestions that I’d come up with while putting up these original pieces of advice. But in light of the myriad folks who dropped by recently, I want to share with you some of the great insights offered by people who graced this blog. Their words are in quotation marks, and any additional comments I have are underneath as sub-bullets.

• Consider carpooling home for the holidays. (From Natasia at hotfemmeinthecity.wordpress.com) “I would also recommend, if you live close enough to home to drive back for the holidays, finding some buddies to either drive with you or drive you. It’s a great bonding experience.
• Since I went to college really far from home, I didn’t even think about the idea of driving home for anything. This is a really great idea. There’s a big difference in bonding experience between when you just hang out with someone and when you’re traveling in a car with them. Just make sure that everyone is planning to head back to school at around the same time.
• Don’t just hang out with other American students when studying abroad. (From broadsideblog at broadsidebroadsideblog.wordpress.com) “Once you’re overseas, be sure to break away from your American-friends ghetto and make as many friendships and professional contacts as possible with those in your new country and culture. It’s a little scary, but completely life-changing. I did it at 25 and am still friends, decades later, with some of the people I met. Most importantly, it showed me, literally, a world filled with unimagined possibilities — and gave me the confidence to get out into it.”
• SO TRUE. This is definitely a tip to remember for the future when you actually do go abroad–and if the comments on the last post have shown anything, it’s that studying abroad is a BIG DEAL and SHOULD NOT BE MISSED. People happily agreed with that point. Anyway, once you are in a foreign country (especially one where people don’t speak English), it’s natural to stay in your comfort zone and to just spend time with your fellow English-speaking students. However, that isn’t going to help you expand your mind as much as possible. You’d be doing a massive disservice to yourself. (While I was in Madrid, a handful of students did nothing but linger in one of their apartments during the whole semester. They became good friends, but they learned almost no Spanish and were totally unimpressed by Spain. Well, no duh. You didn’t experience any of Spain.) Stepping out of the comfort zone is, by definition, uncomfortable. But it pays off in spades.

Worst study abroad experience ever.

• Study abroad during the summer. (From Aliyah at aliyaheneurope.wordpress.com) “Even if you can’t do an entire semester or year, some schools have summer programs or courses abroad that are only 2-6 weeks long. I took a two week course in France this summer and it was an amazing experience! Even though it was short, I still got to experience the culture and language in a way that I couldn’t in a classroom.”
• This is a great point. For some students, studying abroad during the regular school year simply isn’t possible. Classes you need to take for your major might not be available in other international sites, or you might apply so late that there just isn’t any space for you. None of those should be reason to lose hope, nor should they be excuses to walk out of college without some exposure to the outside world. Most universities offer shorter study abroad programs that take place during the summer or even during winter and/or spring break. You won’t spend as long of a time in whatever country you visit, but it is so much better than nothing. The only real inhibiting factor is cost. It’s not cheap to travel to another country, but if you have that money, really think about it.
• Don’t neglect your studies or your social life. (From tmastgrave at tobiasmastgrave.wordpress.com) “I know too many college students who fall one way or the other, spending all their time partying or sequestered in the library. You need a good mix to make it through. A’s are great, but good contacts can sometimes take you further than good grades. Of course, if you get a job through a contact, and then can’t do it, you’ve just made yourself a reputation for life.”
• It’s all about balance. I want to underscore the importance of making connections; besides just making great friends, you’re also networking. It might sound cold, but you never know when or where those connections will get you ahead in life. Hopefully, you’ll also be in a place where you can offer a helping hand to others in the future, too. You’ll all support one another in times of need, but only if you strive to relate with people and not just your textbooks. I forgot about that my sophomore year. Although I did really well in my classes, my social life came to a halt that year. If I had a chance, I would go back and fix that.

He might have made major scientific advances inside that shell, but he still has no friends.

• Choose the major that interests YOU. (From Steve at antimoneylaundry.wordpress.com) “Can’t agree enough about choosing a major and want to add to that statement that one shouldn’t let others [read Mom and Dad] pick one for you. Go in with an open mind and find what fits you, don’t try to chase after whatever they wish they had done 20+ years previously. In the end you’ll do better and enjoy your career more if you listen to what you do well and pursue it with the passion that you can only have for something that YOU care about.”
• I really feel sad for students that disagree with their parents on what to study. In a lot of these cases, the parents want their kids to become doctors or lawyers, meaning they do pre-med or pre-law tracks in school. When the kid suggests another path, the parents threaten to cut off all financial support. It’s a horrible situation that usually leads to really long and stressful nights or bouts of emotional outbursts. And it happens with relative frequency. If you’re one of those individuals, rest assured that it’s not the end of the road. Your school will offer you emotional support (if you look for it), and most everyone I know who was in that situation either took some pre-med classes and found out that they liked them or eventually had a heart-to-heart with their parents and eventually helped Mom and/or Dad understand their point of view. No parent really wants to abandon their child’s education. They all mean well, but express it in different ways. Listen to yourself and be strong enough to embrace what you feel is right for you.
• Savor your time in college. (From Eva at icouldntmakethisup.wordpress.com) “a final suggestion…don’t get in a rush to graduate i loved college but graduated in 4 years. i miss it…the learning. ok…and the partying”
• Seriously. Unless you need to graduate quickly for financial reasons, there really isn’t much reason to graduate early. Talk to any adult and they will say that college was one of the best times in their lives. Why would you want to end that prematurely? And if you graduate a semester early, your graduation ceremony in December or January will pale in comparison to the actual graduation ceremony in so many ways. It’ll just make you want to go back to school and hang out with your friends for another semester while you wait for the real party to begin.

A bit much? Maybe?

• Give yourself a buffer when you make travel arrangements. (From Emilia at emilialiveslife.wordpress.com) “I totally agree with the book flights early point, not only to book them early, but also to leave yourself plenty of buffer space around holidays in case your flight gets cancelled!”
• Like I’ve said before, holiday seasons at airports might as well be nine-ring circuses where the elephants have escaped their cages. It can’t hurt to take extra precautions.
• Pace yourself with the parties. (From For Better GENiUS at forbettergenius.wordpress.com) “you will have many weekends in your years away at school, therefore you do not need to attempt to cram the next 4 freedom years of partying into the first few weekends when there isn’t much homework (you will do it anyway, but at least consider this).”
• Good to remember. My senior year as an RA of a freshman residence hall, I saw and heard so many parties during the first six weeks of school. I can understand how excited you might be from feeling free and trying to make new friends in a different environment, but you don’t have to destroy yourself (namely your liver or lungs) in the first semester. Have some sense of restraint and awareness–the parties during the first few weeks tend to be some of the most disorganized or stupidly unrestrained. (We talked about parties a bit in Round 7.) If you don’t watch out, you’re liable to be scarred on both the physical and emotional levels.

The next post will be Round 10. 10 is a nice, round number and a perfect place to end this stunningly protracted series. (Update: It’s right here!)

Tips for New College Students – Round 8

Eight? This is getting out of hand. (If you’re curious, here are parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7.) Today’s post is the last of the initial mega-batch of college advice that I came up with over the course of one day. Appropriately enough, the tips involve topics that are slightly more long-term, though that’s a pretty flexible phrase–it’s not like the classroom-related advice is something you’ll only think about for the first week of school or so. I still think that most of these suggestions are ones that you can wait to think about for a little while. They’re good things to keep in mind and reconsider in the next semester or year.

• Book holiday flights early–and try to get a direct flight. If you’re going to school relatively far from home, chances are that your first trip back will be for Thanksgiving. Reserve that flight as soon as you have a solid idea of when you’ll be free. If you wait until November (or the week before), you will pay dearly for procrastinating. A flight that might only be about $200 if purchased in advance will be several times more expensive if you get it too late. That’s what happened to me during freshman year. A flight that would cost only $200-$250 in future years ended up being almost $700. It was also a flight with one connection. Due to delays, I missed my connecting flight, had to sleep in Atlanta’s airport overnight, and got home one day later than expected. It SUCKED. Thanksgiving weekend borders on pandemonium at airports, so reduce your chances of being screwed over by booking early and booking a flight to go home in one trip.

My luxurious "bedroom" at Atlanta's airport; Thanksgiving 2006.

• Really think about studying abroad in the future. One of the most common regrets you’ll hear from college students is not studying abroad. A semester abroad is often one of the most enriching experiences you’ll have as an undergrad. It’s also one of those things that your school will probably peddle endlessly, which almost makes you not want to go just out of spite. But really, they strongly suggest that you study abroad with good intentions. Living in a different country and absorbing its culture/language provides insight that no class could offer. If you’re learning a foreign language, going to a country where it’s the native tongue is incredibly intimidating but also extremely rewarding. You really feel like all your hard work is going to great use, and you feel powerful from being able to communicate in a totally different language. Even if you’re not focused on the language aspect, studying abroad is an unforgettable opportunity. Do everything in your power to make that time. You’ll thank yourself–possibly in a foreign language.

I'm willing to guess that this man doesn't like getting advice from others.

• Ask more people for advice than your advisor. The world of AP credits, liberal arts requirements, major requirements, and class registration is a sordid one that is hard/stupid to navigate all on your own. That’s why most every university will have an advising center where you can meet with an academic advisor and discuss your goals and options. College advisors work hard (most of them), they all mean well, and they want to help you walk out of the school with that fancy degree. Unfortunately, their good intentions don’t always translate into good advice, and you can’t really blame them too viciously for that. There are so many majors, minors, and pre-professional tracks to choose from, and each advisor has to keep up with a huge mass of students that all have their own aspirations and unique problems. How can they be completely informed about everything that the school has to offer? On the other hand, that’s no reason to be blindly forgiving of bad advice, and sometimes, the advice they give can be misguided, outdated, or outrageously wrong. If you don’t ask anyone else and just go with what they say, you could be losing out on a lot. My freshman year, I was taking an essay-writing class that was required of every student, no matter what. It was almost exclusively taken by freshmen, but there was one errant senior in my course. She looked incredibly unhappy to be there, and for good reason: Her old academic advisor had incorrectly told her that her AP English credit would exempt her from the class. In her last semester at school, she found out that she needed to take this course and was thrown in at the last second. It sucked for her, and you don’t want to suffer a similar fate. Go visit your advisor regularly and listen closely to their advice. Hopefully, it’ll be great! But there’s no reason to stop there. Speak with older students, other advisors, and the director of undergraduate studies (known as DUGS or DGS) in your department. Some of them might offer the most specific and correct advice, so don’t cheat yourself!

I'm also willing to guess that this man did not study abroad.

• Don’t get too caught up in the internship frenzy. This advice might not mean anything during the first semester, but rest assured that it will make more sense during the second. In the spring, students will begin to furiously pursue summer internships that can pad their resumes. In this stale economic climate, the internship race is even more frantic since there aren’t as many positions. (Yes, internships typically don’t pay anything, but more and more people who were laid off from real jobs are trying to nab these internships from students. Some companies also just don’t have the resources to support as many interns as they used to.) You might want a summer internship, too. That’s great; it’s nice to be productive during the summer and add to your credentials. However, it is really easy to get tunnel vision and start envisioning a summer internship as some make-or-break opportunity that could enable or totally cripple for future career prospects. That’s not true. Be happy if you get an internship, but don’t worry if you don’t–plenty of people will find perfectly great jobs even if they aren’t interns. And there’s always next year. Until then, keep yourself busy with other summer jobs or volunteer work. Just show people that you like to be active, and things will be fine.
• Don’t panic if you’re undecided about your major. One of those nagging questions you get as an incoming freshman, from both parents and fellow students, is: “So, what’s your major?” It gets irritating after a while, especially if you don’t have a concrete answer. Each time you’re asked, it’s a reminder of how tenuous your future seems. Don’t sweat it. You’re definitely not the only one to be undecided, and lots of students who confidently answer that question now will later face a small crisis when they contemplate changing their major later on. You have two years to decide your major(s). Be open-minded as you take some of those required courses. Explore your options, and you will most likely stumble across something that excites you. That’s what was behind my switch from math to political science. And by the way, enjoying reading doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll enjoy being an English major, nor does liking computers mean that you’d fit in as a Computer Science major. So if you think you know what you want to major in, take those classes and see whether the academic approaches to those fields actually interest you or not.

I really want to stress that last one. You don’t want to totally ignore the question of what your major should be, but don’t do a disservice to yourself by agonizing over it. Keep an open mind and enjoy the ride, because it will lead you somewhere whether you expect it to or not.

We’ll (hopefully) close up shop next time. (Update: Here’s a link to part 9.)

Tips for New College Students – Round 7

Hey everyone, it’s Friday! Fridays inspire excitement and anticipation for the weekend–free time to let loose and temporarily escape the rigidities and responsibilities of the weekdays. That made me want to talk about how to enjoy yourself in college… in a safe way.

Yes, we are!

Let’s first establish a couple critical pieces of advice:

• HAVE FUN. College is filled with some stressful moments, but all of that will hopefully be balanced out with tons of unforgettable moments and great times in the company of others. The key is to find the ideal balance of work and fun so that neither side suffers. One of my biggest regrets about my sophomore year of college was that I let work totally dictate my life; my social life faded way more than it should have. Fortunately, I figured that out and readjusted myself, but it was still a year that lacked an important aspect of a great college experience. Ironically, I think that being busy (but not way too excessively) is one of the best ways to have fun. That way, whenever you do have free time in your schedule, you make the most of that time and it contrasts strongly with all the time you spend working hard. That only makes it more enjoyable. If you have all the time in the world to lounge around and do fun things, the enjoyment factor will wilt a bit and you’ll lose track of your academics. By being busy, you’ll really invest yourself into both work and play, and each one will feel even more special because of it.
• Leave time open for spontaneity. Now, I don’t mean that you should explicitly schedule “spontaneity” on your calendar; that would be ironic. But try your best to be flexible when a great opportunity comes your way, whether it’s a chance to go to a concert or do something memorable with your friends. Some of your best recollections about college might come from these unplanned blocks of time. One of the best ways to be open to whimsical stuff is to stay on top of your work so that you feel comfortable enough to have a good time without suffering a lot once you come back to your desk.

With all of that said, the idea of “fun” in college opens up new avenues that you might not have encountered in high school. Or, if you did drive down some of these avenues in high school, they’re far more commonplace in college. You’re left in a situation where you have to make a new set of decisions about how to take care of yourself. You might be happy that your parents aren’t supervising your every move, but you also don’t want to be left in a state of regret where you wish your parents could care for a sicker version of you.

Don’t worry; I’m not jumping into a series of parental speeches. I at least hope that they don’t sound that way. College is about making personal choices and, to a certain extent, learning on the job. But I still think that there are some basic tips that I can offer without feeling too preachy.

• 

  It's only funny because it isn't you.

  Think before you drink. People will often assert that underage drinking is a fact of college life. That’s not really true; you can avoid drinking if you’re not comfortable with it, but it does take some conviction to do it. Still, no one can deny that drinking is a common aspect, and I would be the last person to judge you for doing it. It’s your choice! Just know the potential consequences for being caught–a scenario that happens more easily with louder parties. And if you do, don’t be stupid. Know your limit and don’t get plastered. If you drink your face off, several things could happen. First, you could do something that you regret (and don’t even remember), making you the butt of many inglorious stories. Second, you could get sick and throw up, leading to a miserable hangover or even a trip to the hospital. Third, you will become a helpless mass of meat that will use up the time and attention of lots of people, possibly including RAs that would write you up for the incident. Please don’t do that.

• If you are busted by RAs, be cooperative. Most RAs aren’t out for blood. They don’t want to seem like villains that catch people for their own amusement. (Trust me–as an RA, we would sigh whenever we saw/heard/felt a party that was WAY too obvious not to bust.) Some gatherings, on the other hand, get so loud or noticeable that RAs really have no choice but to break the party up and document the incident. If you end up being present at one of these parties, don’t argue with or run away from the RAs. Be cooperative, answer their questions, and comply with whatever they say. They want to get out of these just as quickly as you do, and being uncooperative will only make the situation last longer and get you in deeper trouble with the judicial system at your school. Though I don’t want to sound like I’m encouraging anything, first offenses typically don’t amount to much beyond a small meeting or letter or something. (Don’t quote me on that; colleges all have different policies that you’ve probably learned about during a substance abuse seminar that you likely took online this summer.) However, repeated offenses and being belligerent or evasive with RAs provide a shortcut to getting into deeper water. (By the way, even if you’re at a party with alcohol and you weren’t drinking, you’re still technically in trouble. Feel free to tell the RA that you weren’t drinking, but don’t expect it to be a free pass.)
• If you see someone vomiting, make sure to have them rest on their side. The person is liable to choke on their own vomit if they’re lying on their back. I’m serious about this. If the vomiting is accompanied by clammy skin and/or unconsciousness, the person is in really bad condition and needs medical attention. (Remember this fine tale?)
• Be careful with Facebook. You probably know this, but it bears repeating. Remember that any of your Facebook friends can see your information and tagged pictures. Maybe even more importantly, potential employers and other adults of authority might check your Facebook before deciding to give you a job or out of plain curiosity. If they come across pictures of you with a cup of beer, a shot of vodka, or whatever other compromising position, that’s not going to be in your favor. Think twice about your privacy settings and what stuff of yours you’re willing to show publicly. People have lost jobs and other opportunities from sharing too much online.

Will not impress the boss. Or parents. Or... anyone.

• Don’t forget sex ed. Despite many national movements to teach abstinence only in sex ed (at least back in elementary and middle school), most colleges take the route of pleading with you to be safe and making sure that all the necessary information and tools are easily accessible to students. Listen to them. Of course, I don’t want to make it sound like college is some sort of love fest where everyone is required to get down and dirty. Whether you decide to stay abstinent is your own choice, and people will happily respect your decision either way. All I’m saying is this: You want to walk away from college with a degree–not with herpes.
• Don’t walk around by yourself late at night. Some colleges will brag about how safe their campuses are while others will tell you to keep your eyes open from the moment you arrive. Either way, it’s not recommended that you meander alone at odd hours of the night. At least two of my friends were mugged by walking around without anyone else around–except for the muggers, of course. There’s no reason for you to make yourself an easy target; go out with others. Muggers or con artists will not mess with groups.
• Watch out for peer pressure. Maybe you haven’t heard that term since DARE back in elementary school, but a lot of these choices involving drugs, sex, or alcohol feel far trickier because they are woven into lots of aspects of social life. You probably wouldn’t drink repeated shots of any liquor if you were sitting around by yourself. (Probably.) But when you’re at a party or a get-together with friends, the exact same idea instantly sounds more appealing or acceptable because you don’t want to feel isolated. That’s a really powerful motivator for anyone. We all want to belong, and all of us succumb to peer pressure in different ways. Even so, if you feel really uncomfortable about a situation that you find yourself in, do or say something. Don’t simply fold like a piece of paper just because you want to seem cool. If your gut or your convictions tell you to get out, then harness all the self-control and courage that you have to be who you want to be. You might feel down because you think you’ve outcast yourself or that you’re missing out on something fun. But in my experience, those gut feelings often work out much better than you would expect. It just takes time to realize it.

I don’t mean to be a buzzkill. Just be smart! And have a great weekend–both this one and all future ones!

For your convenience, here’s a link to Round 8!

Tips for New College Students – Round 6

Here is the second half of my academics-related advice (here’s the first), and part six of my multi-part series on how to adjust to college. With just a week or two left for many college-freshmen-to-be, it’s an exciting and nerve-racking time. If you’re one of those folks, I hope these tips give you something to latch on to.

Are you getting tired of these yet?

• Work to earn every percentage point you can. With far fewer things that factor into your grades in college, each homework assignment and participation point could be the one that tips the scales. If you miss a homework assignment in high school, you might get scolded but chances are that it hardly dents your final grade. In college, one missing assignment might deduct one percent or more from your final grade. Getting a B on a final paper can drop your final grade by several points, too. Keep up with the readings and all the other work. The more you delay, the more liable you are to unnecessarily lose points off your final grade–ones you could have easily maintained by putting in a bit more effort. Gather all the padding you can, just in case something goes awry.
• Do not procrastinate, especially on papers. One of the easiest ways to go down in flames in college is to do poorly on  a paper or project. Unlike high school, where you have a constant stream of homework and papers that add piecemeal percentage points to your final grade, your entire grade in college courses typically come from a handful of things. A few homework assignments might amount to 20% of your final grade, while papers make up 40% and the midterm and final add up to the last 40%. In one class I took, the final paper was worth half the final grade! If you wait until the last moment to write these, you won’t be alone; you should see how crowded computer labs can get at 3 AM the day before final papers are due. But being in company doesn’t mean that you’re all okay. Hurried papers generally don’t do as well, and your grades can really get hurt from just one or two of these frenzied endeavors. You will hear students bragging about how they got good grades on essays that they wrote the night before. They might think it’s something to be proud of, but at some point, the ruse won’t hold up. And if the point of these things is to learn, you’ll learn more from making an actual long-term effort.

Clever.

• Highlight as you read. I don’t know about you, but I have OCD when it comes to books. I hate it when my books get marked up, bent, or damaged; it’s like the books are tied to my soul. Even so, I broke through my insanity and started to highlight/underline stuff in my readings. I know it sucked when you had to do book annotations for credit in high school, but some of those skills will serve you well in college. By highlighting/underlining and making small notes in the margins, you are more engaged with what you are reading, making sure that you’re actually paying attention to the words rather than physically moving your eyes around the page. You’ll draw more connections in what you read and come up with questions that you can ask in class. Once midterms or finals come along, you probably won’t have time to re-read every single thing from the semester. Highlighting/underlining will give you a reminder of the key stuff to review. You should definitely find your own approach to doing this, but make sure to do something.
• Sit near the front of class, especially in large lectures. On the first day of class, you might sheepishly walk in to a classroom and wonder where you should sit. If you’re in a large lecture with over 100 people or so, you’ll likely see most students sauntering to the back of the room and taking seats somewhere in the back half. Don’t do it. Even if you are the first one to take a seat near the front, brush off any sense of embarrassment and just do it. Others will eventually join you (or maybe you’re the one joining someone who’s already there). Lots of benefits come from sitting near the front. You’ll pay more attention; you will be able to hear everything the professor says; you’ll force yourself to stay awake because the professor would easily see you nodding off; and if the course involves a participation grade, sitting near the front will show the professor that you’re more engaged and you’ll be more liable to interact in class. Basically, you’re committing yourself to being engaged. You don’t have to sit in the very front row; my favorite spot was actually the second row, especially since some first rows are uncomfortably close to the professor, making it awkward or hard to see the board. Just sit in the front half, at least.

Honestly, how much do you think those dots in the back will learn from this class?

• Turn off your wireless in class (if you take notes on your laptop). More and more students are taking notes on their computers, and more and more people are getting used to hearing the incessant click-clacking of keys in class. Taking notes on a laptop can definitely be more efficient than doing it manually (unless you’re in a course that involves math), so it’s up to you and your professor to decide what to do. However, one downside of laptops is that they give you more opportunities to go ADHD and lose your focus by surfing the internet, playing a round of Bejeweled, or IMing with someone else. Most schools have wi-fi in classrooms, which makes this all too easy. Avoid the temptation entirely by shutting off your wireless before class starts. Even then, you’ll have to stay strong against Solitaire and Minesweeper. You can do it.
• 

  Not just for corporate jobs.

  Don’t suck up to your professors. It’s fantastic to form relationships with professors. You want people who will write letters of recommendation for you in the future that are genuinely supportive and not just form letters or entirely negative (it happens). But there are right and wrong ways to establish a good rapport with faculty. Good ways include participating in class, asking questions, attending office hours, and producing good work on homework assignments and other projects. Bad ways include asking pointless questions or making empty comments just for the sake of getting your professor’s attention (this is also a shortcut to getting everyone in class to dislike you), trying to talk to them before or after class regardless of whether you have anything meaningful to say, and introducing yourself to the professor on the first day of class. I did the last one. On the first day of class, after the introductory lecture was over, I walked up to the professor as he was packing up his laptop and extended my hand, telling him my name and saying it was a pleasure to meet him. He coldly shook my hand and grunted as he kept putting stuff away. As I trodded out of the room, I felt like a massive tool. I was lucky that he didn’t really look up at me or I would have felt embarrassed for the rest of the semester. Just like with friends, the best relationships with professors happen organically. As long as you stay visibly invested in class and make some extra (but not excessive) effort, things will pay off.

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You should be proud to be a college student, but letting pride overtake you will only end up being a horrible mistake. A newbie college student might feel like it’s not cool or looks really weak to admit that something isn’t going well. Those socially-based fears can do a lot to paralyze you or make you feel like you don’t really have anyone to turn to when you are struggling with an assignment, class, or even a personal matter. Getting frustrated is part of the overall struggle to a certain extent. You want to challenge yourself and give yourself time to attempt to figure something out on your own. However, there comes a point when you hit a wall and you’re inefficiently using your time getting nowhere. At those points, swallow your pride and seek out support. Go to your professors’ office hours (they’ll be happy to see someone show up, as hardly anyone ever does), ask fellow classmates, and find other resources on campus. For example, my college had a learning center where you could get tutoring from people who had taken the same class and done well. (I even worked there for a year and a half.) People all around you are so willing to help out. Don’t think that asking for help is an inherent sign of weakness; sometimes, it’s a true sign of strength.

Seriously. Tell me if you’re getting bored. Or if you have other advice you’d like to add.

My advice on having responsible fun in college is in the next part, which is here.

Tips for New College Students – Round 5

These prefaces to each post are getting out hand. I’ll make it short this time. Today, I have some things to say about what might seem like the biggest slice of college: surviving and thriving in the classroom. This is clearly a place where people’s habits vary, but I’ll suggest a few things that I think most people can get behind. If not, feel free to tell me what works for you (and might for others, too)!

• Get a planner. A lot goes on in college. You need a way to keep track of it all. A planner is a great way to do it. Keeping mental notes will only go so far before you forget something. It’s your choice how you do this–you can buy a paper planner or do it on your computer/smartphone. Regardless of how you do it, you’ll want it to add some order to a very cluttered life. You can use that planner to…
• 

  I typed "schedules" into Google Images and got this. I have no idea why. Maybe he needed to schedule time to deal with his raging diarrhea.

  Schedule ahead. On the first day of each class, your professor will probably give you a syllabus that outlines what you’ll cover over the semester and when you’ll do it. Pay special attention to when midterms and finals and scheduled and write them down in your calendar. You’ll get an idea of what your midterm and finals periods look like. You might notice that you have two midterms on the same day, one a day for three days straight, or huge gaps of time between a couple finals. You can figure out how to pace your studying or plan out when to write papers so that you don’t die from doing so much at once. Also, once you figure out the date or your last final, you know when you can go home for the winter.

• Make to-do lists. Set it somewhere where you can always see it. That way, you’ll be sure to think about finishing that stuff in due time. Also, you’ll feel immense satisfaction when you check things off. There were times when I’d actually write down really simple tasks that I should do, just so that I could check them off and feel productive. Don’t abuse that, though. I would only do that whenever the actual tasks I had on my list were massive endeavors (like “finish first draft of thesis”) that I couldn’t finish quickly.
• Go to class. Honestly. You’re paying good money for time in the classroom. Get out of bed and go! If being a student is a job, going to class is going to work. The most common reason why people don’t go to class is that the professor is lousy: “I learn more from reading the textbook than I do from class!” That might be true. You’ll see your fair share of not-so-great professors that lead below-average lectures, and you’ll feel like you’re wasting your time in class. In most cases, though, there is still good reason to go to class. If you do have problems in class, the professor might be more merciful if they recognize your face. Also, you’re bound to miss some information by not attending. There was at least one occasion when one of my professors announced that a test was rescheduled, only to have a group of students not know and show up on the wrong day. Some professors pretty much wink at you as they practically tell you what material will be on the midterm or final. Even if the class totally sucks, at least go to class and just read the textbook. (This might be one reason to sit in the back of class.) Think of class as dedicated time to focus on the course material. If you don’t go, it’s easy for you to not think about the class for a long, long time. I sure said “class” a lot of times, didn’t I?
• Check out the school library. (No pun intended.) It might be your second home for studying. I mean, it’s a quiet area with lots of seating areas and an academic environment. That sounds like a perfect place to be productive and uninterrupted. Don’t just think of the library as a place to get books (though you can obviously do that). You might be surprised by how much you like the library as a studying spot. It’s especially nice if you’re one of those people that really likes to draw a solid boundary between relaxing space and working space. Be forewarned, though: The library can get jam-packed right before midterms and finals.

Studying somewhere like this might actually make things somewhat tolerable!

• Be wary of 8 AM classes. Right off the heels of high school (which typically begins before 8), you’ll think that 8 AM courses sound like a natural transition. If you definitely know that you’re a morning person, that might be true. My first semester in college, I took all morning classes and was done by 11 AM or 1 PM every day. But it came with a cost: I am not a morning person. The first couple weeks were fine, but as my sleeping schedule kept being pushed back further and further, each morning that started at 6:45 AM felt like a nightmare. I dragged myself out of bed and sat in the 8 AM classes with only about half my brain engaged. I scorned myself the entire semester. Really think about this before you sign up for classes. Of course, if you need to take a course that only takes place in the mornings, then this isn’t really meaningful. Just stay strong. But if you have a choice, there’s no reason for you to torture yourself. At the same time, don’t try to schedule everything so that you can sleep in too long everyday. The idea of sleeping in leads me to the next tip, which is obvious but always bears repeating.
• 

  Looks like Garfield and I might have found some common ground.

  Show up on time. When you’re in a small class where everyone gets to know one another, you instinctively feel embarrassed when you try to quietly walk into your class after it’s already started. Nobody in the room even has to acknowledge that you were late or stare at you in some disappointed way in order for you to feel at least mildly apologetic. Well, that’s what I would think, at least. The tricky part about college is when you have large lecture courses that give you some anonymity. You feel less guilty when you try to sneak into the class a few minutes late and figure that the professor won’t even know who you are. If there’s no participation grade in class, then there’s even less concern. Don’t let that kind of thinking inspire you to prance into class whenever you want. It’s annoying to other students and definitely irritates the professor, even if they don’t spend time chastising you for it. And every once in a while, a professor will let you know that they aren’t happy about it.

• Anecdote time! My freshman year of college, I was in a 300-person macroeconomics class that started at 8 AM. (I didn’t come up with that 8 AM tip out of thin air, you know.) The early start time meant that lots of students just didn’t show up, and many that did show up arrived late. For the first few weeks, the professor just ignored it, but with every passing class, students were showing up later and later. The main door into the room was also in desperate need of grease; it squealed like a baby pig every time it was opened. So one day, as the professor is about 5 minutes into his lecture, about 20 kids walk in to the class. He loses his mind. He screams across the room at the 20 students and orders them to get out. They first think this is some weird joke (he was entertaining in class), but he made it clear that he was dead serious. Out, he said. One other kid wearing headphones that didn’t know about this came in about 10 minutes later, trying to be as quiet as possible as he found a seat in the back of class. Little did he know that every student was looking at him or the professor, wondering what would happen. The professor yelled at the kid to get out, but he couldn’t hear because of the headphones. The professor stomped off the stage, walked over to the student, pulled his headphones off, and personally ordered him to get out. It was quite the scene. Now, I think the professor was just in a bad mood that day, because he didn’t ever do that again–but students didn’t show up late like that ever again, either. It’s better to show up late to class than not at all, but it’s best to show up on time.

We’re just halfway through our academically flavored advice. I’ll get into more of the nitty-gritty aspects tomorrow. (Update: Those nitty-gritty aspects are here.)

Tips for New College Students – Round 4

After a bit of thought, I decided that I should address academic advice later. I first wanted to get some more of the living-like-a-stable-human-being bits out in the open first. Yesterday was mostly scatterbrained. Today, we’re focusing on MONEY. KA-CHING.

Actually, “KA-CHING” is probably the antithesis of the common college experience. Most of us will feel like halfway destitute and constantly have a cloud of concern over our heads as we wonder whether we have the money to do whatever someone suggests. If not, you’re either TOTALLY loaded or not being so smart with your finances. My guess is that it’s probably the latter. You don’t want to get into a position of crippling debt; our country is already doing plenty of that for us. So here are some ways that you can shave a dollar here or there while in school.

• Considering buying textbooks online. If you already have your list of required textbooks, think about purchasing them on sites like Half.com (an eBay subsite for books), Amazon.com, or AbeBooks.com. People sell textbooks for a fraction of the retail price–even new or barely used copies. Textbooks are notoriously expensive because of huge markups, so you can save a decent amount of money by getting whatever you can second-hand. Some campuses even have textbook rental services for people who don’t need to write notes in their books or grow attached to their books over a semester. Find out whether your school does.

Forget "Mad Max" or "Waterworld"--in a real post-apocalyptic world, textbooks will be the real unit of wealth.

• Go to activities and club meetings. Like I’ve mentioned in other posts, clubs and large school events will try to attract students by offering free stuff. Some of the most common free stuff involves food, and free food is free money. Obviously, you shouldn’t join a club you’re not remotely interested in just to snag pizza at their meetings. But you can easily attend huge school functions to get some free grub, and if you do care about a club, free food definitely doesn’t hurt!
• 

  20%? Not bad at all!

  Hunt down student discounts. When you’re a college student, the whole world knows that you’re strapped for cash. Quite a few places will make some effort to alleviate your pain, so don’t be sheepish about taking advantage of them. If you recently bought a laptop and got a free Xbox 360 or low-priced iPod with it, you’ve already gotten a taste. Chances are that lots of places around your campus will have some discount for students if the prices aren’t already lower than usual because the place targets the school. Museums, movie theaters, transportation, and even the occasional eatery will charge you a bit less if you show them your student ID. Most places that do that kind of stuff will make it obvious by posting that information somewhere easy to view. Some others don’t. For example, your cell phone provider might give you a discount on your line/monthly bill. I didn’t even know about that until this year. Search for your service provider and “student discount” on Google; if you just give them your new college e-mail address, they could deduct a fraction of your bill! If you use Amazon a lot, you can join Amazon Student: For six months, you get free two-day shipping on all orders fulfilled directly by Amazon! (Just make sure to cancel the service before they start charging you.) Check out websites like StudentRate.com to find even more ways to compensate for all the money you’re spending to go to school.

• Have a budget; beware the plastic. Though this is probably a bigger deal for students that are financially “independent” for the first time (“independent” in quotes because chances are that your parents will be sending you money), this applies to everyone. Without parents around to track your finances, it might be easier for you to burn through money without noticing. Besides having to buy certain essentials, there are more opportunities to purchase other things you might not need. That’s fine, but you should do it with finances in mind. Make sure you can cover the costs of whatever you’re getting. If you just got a credit or debit card, be careful with it. When you don’t see physical money exchanging hands, it’s easy to lose sight of how much money you’re losing, but few things can ruin your credit more than overdrafting (spending more money on your debit card than you actually have in your account) or amassing a debt that you can’t pay off. Stick to a budget, and if possible, save some money for a rainy day. If your bank has online banking, use it to check your accounts on an occasional basis to make sure that you’re not overdrafting (using the ATM and taking more money out of your checking account than is actually in there). If you want to develop a credit score, just get a credit card and buy a few dollars’ worth of stuff each month that you can immediately pay off. That way, you can avoid paying hefty interest charges while establishing good credit. Do not get complacent if the credit card provider gives you six months or one year of zero interest charges because you’re a new customer. Pretend that that never happened and pay off your bills immediately (unless you just bought a huge item that you plan to pay off in installments over time… but you should talk to your folks before you do that, anyway). If you get into the habit of waiting to pay later, you’ll be faced with a moment of reckoning down the line when the company suddenly starts charging you the normal rate of 12-20%.

Quite possibly one of the worst budgeting techniques I've ever seen. Put the Benjamin in your savings account--not in between the blades of a pair of scissors.

• Be careful with coffee expenses. If you don’t drink coffee now, college might be the place that starts your habit. (But like I said yesterday, don’t use coffee as a constant replacement for actual rest.) You need to be careful with the money you spend on it. If you stop by a Starbucks or other café each morning and get just a cup of coffee each day of class, you could spend upwards of $50 a month on coffee. If you get more than one cup or have fancier drinks, the total will be even higher. That’s a lot of money. Restrict yourself by making your own coffee, drinking it occasionally, or by just being aware of how much money you’re spending and accepting it. On a more broad scale, just reflect on what items you seem to purchase in small amounts all the time (gum, cigarettes, newspapers) and make sure that you are able to financially manage them.
• 

  Big mistake: A posterboard would have looked much more professional.

  Consider waiting a semester (or even a year) to start working. A lot of incoming students will likely have work-study programs to pay for part of their tuition. With work-study, you do some job on campus to make some extra cash for your financial aid package. It seems logical to jump right into a job from the get-go in order to get this money. However, if you or your family aren’t desperately pressed for money from work-study, you might think about giving yourself a semester being finding a job. (This actually applies whether the job you’re looking for is work-study or not.) Making a transition from high school to college is enough to keep lots of people busy during the first semester, and trying to simultaneously take on a job sometimes frazzles people and can affect one’s grades. Of course, some people can manage all of it fine. The point is that you shouldn’t think of working as an immediate necessity; the money you forgo by not working your first semester could easily be made up by the lack of excess stress. It’s a personal decision, but a DECISION, nonetheless.

• Visit your school’s career development center. Every university has one. The career center is where advisers can help you build a resume, polish your interviewing skills, and meet with prospective employers once you’re really looking for a job. However, they’re also the ones who know about all the jobs that are available on campus. If you have any questions about work-study, want a job, or don’t know what work-study positions are open, visit the career center and you’ll find out much more quickly than you ever could from just pecking around on your own.
• Be open-minded with work-study jobs. If you decide to do work-study from the beginning, understand what work-study jobs are like. Many of these positions focus on pushing paper or doing more menial tasks, but they also come with more flexibility in terms of time and more free time to potentially do some schoolwork on the job. Since most work-study jobs are within the university, your employers are way more sympathetic to the fact that you’re a busy student. With that said, don’t get picky about what work-study job you want. It’s not like you need to be a drama major to work for the university’s performing arts center. A nursing student can work as a library assistant or an office assistant in the Department of History. Considering how popular work-study is these days, the primary focus should be to just get a work-study job that fits your schedule. Being relevant to your interests is little more than a personal bonus.

This lousy economy has already driven enough people into poverty. There’s no reason for you to become a part of that, too.

I have some stuff to say about schoolwork and the classroom. That begins in Round 5.

Tips for New College Students – Round 3

It’s a new week and time for a new series of college-related advice. My last two posts focused on moving in, getting along with your roommate, and making connections with all the new folks wandering around campus. These were all subjects that would concern you as soon as you moved in and during the first couple weeks as you tried to adjust to your new environment. Now, we’re going to start transitioning to recommendations that involve everyday life and maintaining good habits. These will include time management, schoolwork, dealing with money, and other big themes. Today’s post is sort of a potpourri–ideas I had that I couldn’t really fit into more distinct categories. But hold on: That doesn’t mean that they’re any less important! (Laundry tips are crucial!) Don’t you leave me now.

• 

  Oh, the memories...

  Do your laundry on a regular basis. This might be your first time doing laundry for yourself. If so, make sure to check out the laundry room (maybe when your parents are around) to figure out how it works and what settings to use. I’m not going to give tips on how to do laundry since I’m sure that your parents will have plenty of those. But the real issue is making sure that you actually do your laundry on a consistent basis. It’s a hassle, which makes it prime procrastination material. What happens, though, is that you’ll end up doing a TON of laundry at once but have problems finding enough machines or losing stuff. Make it a habit to wash your clothes. You can even think of it in positive terms–take some homework along with you and think of laundry time as a couple quiet hours of work time. One way to force yourself to do laundry regularly is to limit the number of something that you always need and aren’t willing to wear twice, like underwear. If you have only 7 or 8 pairs of underwear, you’ll have no choice but to wash your clothes once a week–or walk around, quietly ashamed that you’re wearing grungy tighty whities.

• Don’t leave your clothes in the washer or dryer in the laundry room. Get them ASAP or sit in the laundry room while they’re being washed or dried. If you don’t, you’ll (1) be seen as a jerk that’s wastefully taking up a machine, (2) have something stolen, or (3) someone will throw all your clothes out on to a table or the floor in order to do their own laundry.
• Find off-peak hours to do your laundry. You can largely avoid the problem of being unable to find a machine or having someone toss your stuff on a table if you do your laundry during a quiet time. If at all possible, try to avoid most of the weekend, especially when it’s morning and afternoon. Everyone will be trying to do their laundry then. Evenings (after most classes are done) can also be an inconvenient time, though not always. Some of the slower hours include during the middle of a weekday and way late at night. One problem with really late at night, though, is that some terrible people just throw their clothes into the machines and leave them there overnight. Visit your laundry room at different times to find a good time for you.
• Keep good track of your student ID. A quick way to feel impotent on campus is to lose your student ID. Depending on the level of security on your campus or how your dining halls work, losing your student ID means losing your ability to enter buildings, get meals, or check out books. Even if your student ID doesn’t fulfill those duties, you will definitely have to replace the card, and doing that is a hassle in and of itself. They’ll probably charge you for it, too. The ID is your passport on campus, so be careful. If you do lose your ID, it’s probably a good idea to call whatever office is responsible for making the ID cards and reporting your card stolen so that a person who finds your card can’t use it to check out books or spend money that’s attached to your account. (That’s good advice for a situation where you lose any kind of card.) Don’t lose your keys, either–schools love charging massive quantities of money to replace keys and locks.

I hope your ID is less yellowed, made of more durable materials, and in English. I also hope your picture turns out better than this.

• Learn your student ID number. Chances are very high that your school will assign you a student ID number. Take a couple minutes to commit it to memory. You will save yourself many small increments of time where you don’t have to pull your student ID out of your wallet or purse to find your number on the back. That number will identify you on so many applications and forms for the next four years that it’s worth reflexively knowing, so just get it over with now. (It also wouldn’t hurt to know your social security number by heart, either.)
  
• Take advantage of your school’s resources. You are directly or indirectly paying for all the stuff that exists in the university, so don’t be afraid to find out what’s out there and to use what you find. Your student health center probably offers lots of free or highly-subsidized products and/or services. If you need counseling during a difficult time, the university most likely has a hotline you can call for help. Free stuff is floating all over the place if you know where to go, whether that involves free food at events or free swag (like planners or frisbees) during orientation. Your RAs, academic advisers, and some faculty will know places where you can go for help with homework or preparing for a test or confronting a difficult life situation. Even as a senior, I was learning about facilities that existed on campus that I never knew about. Sitting on your hands and waiting for things to come your way is not recommended. Be proactive and look for all the great stuff you can get. You paid for it.
• Watch out how you eat. The worst mistake I made during my freshman year was to gain at least 20 pounds. I broke through the Freshman 15 by 5 to 10 pounds, and that’s not a good accomplishment. With a dining plan in hand, I lost control. The dining halls were all-you-can-eat (as yours will probably be), and I made sure that it lived up to its name. I’d pile the food on as I walked through the buffet line and then also eat a couple desserts along with whatever I plopped onto my one or two plates. And while I was looking around the cafeteria to see what was available, I’d absent-mindedly pick up a cookie and eat it as I browsed. It only got worse during testing periods; I would de-stress by blindly shoving food into my mouth. Don’t do what I did. Be smart about how you eat; restrict your portions and limit your sweets. (That can be difficult, since dessert items might often be the best-tasting thing out that day.) Find different ways to address stress than to eat. Dorm food isn’t typically that fantastic, anyway. The food selections will eventually start to repeat themselves, so don’t feel the need to try everything available all at once. You’ll inevitably have more chances to try it later… probably more chances than you would actually want.

I ate like this. All he's missing is dessert. (I actually know this place. It's a dining hall at my college!)

• Sleep. Don’t rely on coffee and energy shots to get you through. You might get the least amount of sleep during your freshman year because you’re so busy finding a social life and adjusting to the demands of a college lifestyle. I probably got an average of 3-5 hours of sleep a day during freshman year because I was inefficient with my work. I almost paid for this in the worst way possible. On the last day of a seminar I was taking, we had to turn in our final papers, which would be worth 50% of our grade for the whole class. The class was on Friday from 9 AM to noon. I had finished my paper a couple days before, so I was feeling pretty good. But somehow, I woke up on Friday morning and blearily thought that my room felt really bright for being 8 AM. I grabbed my cell phone and FREAKED OUT when I noticed that it was 11:25 and that a classmate had been incessantly texting me to ask where I was. I ran out the door and got to class by 11:45. I handed in my paper and apologized profusely, promising that I’d just overslept and that my paper had been finished this whole time. (I didn’t want her to think that I’d skipped class to finish my paper.) She was oddly forgiving. If I had woken up a half hour later, I would have gotten my first and hopefully only F for a class. By senior year (which was easily my busiest), I managed to get about 7. I can tell you that I was much healthier–mentally and physically–when I got more sleep. It’s all about time management, so it might be a bit rough at first; you might resort to an occasional coffee or Red Bull to get through the day. But don’t use it as a crutch. It’s not healthy and it will also burn a gaping hole in your wallet.

Another tip: When you fall asleep in class, it never looks as subtle as you think.

Tomorrow, we’ll turn to either money or the essence of what college is supposed to be: academics. Not sure which one I’ll go with yet. Let me know if you have a preference. If I don’t hear anything, a coin will decide for me.

(Update: I went with money in Part 4. That’s here!)

Tips for New College Students – Round 2

Yesterday, we had a brief discussion about moving in and establishing a rapport with your roommate. Your roommate might have been the first person that you tried to connect with–you probably gave them a phone call or sent them a message when your school told you their name. You’re bound to spend quite a bit of time in their presence during the year. However, that’s not always going to result in a real social bond (and remember that that’s perfectly fine). Most of the connections you make are going to take place outside of your dorm room and out in the sea of new students that are all searching for their own way to belong. Don’t be worried! Here are some considerations.

• Feel free to shake off your high school identity. High school can feel like a pool of cliques that are all swirling endlessly around you. You can feel like you are identified as a geek, band nerd, jock, loner, or whatever. Those labels can stick. But now, you’re entering a new world where no one (or very few people) have met you before. It’s a great opportunity to redefine yourself in different terms and in more sophisticated ways. In college, those high school cliques fade away; people hardly categorize one another like that. Don’t box yourself within such simplistic boundaries. I’m not saying that you should fake being someone that you’re not or disown your identity if you like yourself just the way you are. All I mean is that you should get out there and become a multifaceted individual with a complex personality. Be who you want to be and see how four years of college happen to shape you even further.
• Don’t try to be too cool for school. There will be plenty of incoming freshmen who act smug as if they’ve already been through college before or as if they’re too good to participate in ice-breaker activities or be enthusiastic. Don’t believe them. These individuals are just as clueless or intimidated, except they’re too pompous or ignorant of themselves to admit it (even if they later crash and burn from having too much pride to ask for assistance). As a freshman, you’re definitely entitled to not know what you’re doing, be excited, and ask questions. The people who aren’t willing to play along tend to be buzzkillers, so don’t add to their numbers.
• Participate in orientation/welcome events. Some people will scoff at the structured activities planned during your first few days on campus. Let them scoff, but go to the events anyway. They are one of the quickest ways to connect with lots of people and to get yourself acclimated to your school. At least a handful of the university-hosted events will have a considerable amount of resources and money behind them so that they are big affairs that will be memorable. Give them a shot. By trying to be some non-conformist that doesn’t go to any of these events, you’ll probably do a big disservice to yourself.
• 

  So many opportunities, so many cardboard displays!

  Go to the activities fair. During orientation or the first week of class, there will probably be a club/activities fair where all the organizations on campus get together in one spot to attract a new generation of members. Go there. You’ll never have an easier chance to shop through all the groups on campus and get a feel of what stuff is out there for you. Beyond your classes, the activities you do can play a huge role in the friends you make, the things you do, and the way you eventually identify yourself. (A couple of my best friends came straight from a couple of the activities that I chose to try during freshman year.) Don’t underestimate that. You’ll quickly feel like you’re part of something larger, which helps a lot with the “feeling detached and not belonging” funk you might sense. And if nothing else, clubs will try to get your attention by offering free stuff–go and eat/collect your way through the day! Despite the appeal of the activities fair…

• Don’t overextend yourself. I know this isn’t directly tied to the social theme, but it only makes sense to mention after addressing the activity fair. In high school, you could be part of 10 extracurricular groups and somehow juggle them all by making small contributions to each one. In college, the dynamic changes a bit. The groups you’re a part of will typically want more of your time and commitment, so you’ll probably have to limit the number of things you are a part of. On the flipside, though, you’ll be more involved and do bigger things with each one of them. Don’t be afraid to browse your options, but try not to do everything. Deeply invest yourself in what really excites you.
• Quality ≠ Quantity. You probably know this, but I think it bears repeating. Some people have lots of friends that they engage with on a more casual level, while other people prefer to have a small handful of very close friends. Some like to hang out in gigantic groups where multiple sub-groups of people mingle, while others like to be in the direct company of just a couple others. There are extroverts (people who recharge from being around others) and introverts (people who recharge from being alone; I’m one of them). Neither approach is more right or wrong than the other; it’s your personal taste. However, I mention it now because during the first weeks of school and orientation, the social atmosphere will definitely skew toward “quantity”; events will be filled with lots of people in louder/larger groups. It can be easy to think that you need to be incredibly outgoing and gregarious in order to fit in. That’s not true. If you’re on the quieter side, know that there are many of you–it’s just not as easy to identify one another. It might take a little more time for things to settle down and for you to engage with others on a more individual level, but it will happen. Until then, don’t be afraid to go out to those larger events and exercise your social muscles–even if you don’t think you’ll like it, you (1) might surprise yourself by finding out that you do, (2) could meet someone else like you who is also giving the large-group thing a shot, or (3) will practice a skill that you’ll really want as you grow up; it’s good to know how to interact and be comfortable in large settings, even if it isn’t your thing. Challenge yourself.

Giving a gift is great! Just skip the part where you violently fight each other.

• Facebook friends ≠ Actual friends. The number of Facebook friends you have is going to skyrocket if it hasn’t already. People will be swift in getting your name and friending you as soon as possible. You might do the same. Cool. But just having a lot of Facebook friends doesn’t really mean anything. While in college, you’re bound to meet individuals that wrongly equate having lots of Facebook friends with being socially accepted or even popular. Let them boast, but take it as a precautionary tale of what you don’t want to become. Get out there and make some actual interpersonal connections. (With time, you’ll also gain the awareness and confidence to trim away at your bloated friends list.)

I’ll conclude today’s post on connections with what I think is the most important piece of advice on this theme.

• Don’t panic if you don’t make best friends immediately. When you’re tossed into a totally new environment, you might feel a desperate need to ground yourself in a new network of best friends. “What if I don’t make friends immediately? Everyone else will become besties with each other and then I’ll have no one!” Absolutely untrue. In fact, some freshman year relationships can be oddly superficial; they might be based on a desire to have friends rather than on actual common ground or mutual interest. Also, during the first couple weeks, most everyone is going to be on their best behavior; everyone will seem exceedingly kind and generous. But people won’t stay that way. Give it a few weeks, and people will slide back to their true personas, and the person you thought was best friend material might end up being a bit of a jerk. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t try to make friends or that no one that you meet during freshman year will become one of your best friends; two of my best college friendships began in freshman year. But at the same time, a large portion of people I befriended during freshman year amounted to very little in the following years because they weren’t grounded in anything meaningful. Friendships will happen organically as you meet people in classes, activities, and other random circumstances. You’ll be surprised where your best friends come from.

Friendships are important. They’ll be one of the most enduring things you’ll get from college. That being said, don’t sweat it! The more self-conscious you get about it, the more stressful it will become. And making friends is not supposed to be stressful.

I would graciously accept any other advice on this matter from anyone out there reading this!

(Update: Here’s the way to Round 3!)

Tips for New College Students – Round 1

I promised to offer nuggets of so-called “wisdom” that I accumulated while in college. Whether or not you find them useful or applicable to your school, I can’t make any guarantees. I’ve tried my best to stick to pretty generalized stuff, but every college experience is different. I also attempted to categorize the tidbits of advice into broad groups. However, there’s a chance that I’ll come up with another tip after the fact. If that happens, I’ll just have a final post where I spew out the disorganized ideas that I think of later on. (I have this sneaking suspicion that I’ll definitely think of more things related to today’s categories. They are fertile ground for advice.)

In our first bout wave of advice, let’s start… at the beginning. Time to talk about moving in and starting life as a dorm resident!

Moving in

• Start packing NOW. There might be a lot of temptation to wait until the last couple days, but that will do several things to you–none of which are good. First, you’ll get stressed out from trying to shove your entire life into boxes and possibly have an unnecessary argument with your parents just because everyone is so flustered. Second, you’ll be almost guaranteed to forget something that you really should have brought, which will spark a(nother) argument with the parents during move-in day, which is already a stressful affair without forgetting to bring your phone charger. (Nearby stores will all be packed with students and parents; you want to avoid those places as much as possible.) You’ll most likely forget to bring something even if you start packing early, but you’ll minimize those chances and be a much calmer individual if you start throwing stuff in boxes now. In fact, it’s not a bad idea to have a box nearby where you can throw stuff in as you think about it. For example, I just tossed some fridge magnets into a similar box the other day. It’s a minor detail, but I’m glad I thought of it now.
• 

  The real fun comes from seeing how many of these smiles survive the day.

  Have patience when moving in. Move-in day is one of those magical occasions where you get to witness one of the densest mass of sweaty, tired, and pissed-off people that you’ll ever see. It doesn’t take much effort to join this crowd; in fact, it’s much harder to not become a part of the agitated mob. Be prepared for various obstacles, long lines, and unexpected complications. Try to think of them as fascinating additions to your move-in memories. If you don’t, chances are good that your upset attitude will quickly rub off on to your family and make all of you irritable in a confined space. Once this happens, move-in day will become an event that you won’t want to remember, and that’s no way to start your college experience. Walk into it just knowing that things will be messy, and that that is perfectly normal.

Once you get settled in, you shift gears from being a mover to an official resident. You’re going to live in a room/floor with the same people for a year. You want to get things off on the right foot.

Being a good resident

• Be nice to your RA. It’s basically guaranteed that an RA, or Residential Assistant, will live on your floor and welcome you when you move in. (Your parents will likely batter them with questions and hang on their every word.)  Their job is to help you transition to college, be a resource for your questions, maintain some order on the floor, and help develop a sense of community. They’ve gone through a decent amount of training and have hopefully put a lot of effort into giving you a warm welcome. During the first few weeks, they’ll probably put in extra effort to stage more floor activities. Attend some of them. Make them know that their work isn’t going to waste; you will form relationships with other floormates and your RA, and that’s never a bad thing. It will speed up your transition to college, too. Even if you decide not to attend these events, be nice to your RA whenever you can. Even though your RA is likely a junior or senior, they are also nervous/insecure about how they are doing at their job. They might not show it, but trust me–I was shaking in my boots on move-in day and also during the first couple floor meetings and weeks. Let them know that you appreciate what they’re doing… assuming that they’re doing well!
• Make a concerted effort when you fill out a roommate agreement.The roommate agreement is supposed to be an opportunity to set ground rules on how your room will operate. The downside to the agreement is that it’s timed poorly; since it usually happens during the first week or two, it’s in a honeymoon phase where you’re on a high from being in a new environment and thinking everything’s going to be perfect. You’re also self-conscious about appearing to be too finicky to your roommate(s). But at some point, roommates are inevitably going to have a disagreement and you will want ground rules (and possibly the counseling powers of your RA) to resolve these problems. Understandably, nobody wants to be the apparent party-pooper who insists on setting these rules, but you’ll want them later. (Some common issues to spark the first conflict include when and how many visitors can stay in your room; the cleanliness of shared spaces, especially in terms of the bathroom and leaving dirty dishes in the sink; and noise problems involving playing music too loudly or conversing with people at late hours.) Don’t fall into the common temptation of saying “Oh, we’ll figure it out as it happens,” because chances are that it will be figured out in an excessively unpleasant way. At the very least, make a solid agreement with your roommate to open candid to one another. Once something that your roommate is doing begins to bother you, say something sooner than later before it escalates from being awkward to confrontational. If your school doesn’t require you to fill out a roommate agreement, suggest the idea yourself; people will likely respond positively to it. They’re equally invested in making sure that they live in the room comfortably.
  

  If only actual roommate conflicts were this tame and endearing...

  Speaking of roommates…

• You don’t have to be best friends with your roommate. If you are, then that’s awesome. (You can even choose to room with a best friend in future years.) If not, join the club. Having a roommate–especially during freshman year when you didn’t mutually choose to live with one another–is exactly what it sounds like: someone you room with. As long as you live together in a courteous way and don’t step on each other’s toes, your mission is accomplished. You’re already way ahead of many other people that are living together. Don’t feel pressure to forge a tight bond with your roommate if you don’t feel that it would naturally happen. We’ll come back to this topic of friendships later on, too.

That’s all I’ll share for today. Don’t be disappointed or scared, but I still have about 40 of these left.

If you happen to be a current college student or college graduate and have other advice that would fit under these headings, feel free to let the world know. If you’re a college-student-to-be with questions, I’d be curious to hear those, too.

If you want to know what I have to say about making connections with other people once you arrive, check out Round 2.